Something I have learned from being a child that was spanked is love. I was punished, spanked, and yelled at. I learned from that is sometimes it actually does the opposite of what you are looking for.
The idea is to punish the behavior. You are telling the child that the behavior is wrong. In no way are you telling the child that he/she is wrong. It is the actions they are doing that is wrong.
As a parent, I let my children know why they are doing is wrong. I give them the option to change that behavior. If a punishment has to be dished out then I give a punishment that fits the crime.
However, after all, is said and done it is my job as their parent to teach them right from wrong. It is my job to punish the behavior. It is my job to then have a talk with my child.
Having a talk with my child consists of these things.
- Talking about the wrong behavior
- Talking about how to try and not repeat the behavior
- Then making sure my child knows that they are loved
It is important after my child is punished that I make sure they know I love them. I don’t want my child to think they are wrong. It’s the behavior that was wrong. I love them even if they did something wrong.
After having parents up punish me I know what it’s like to feel that I was wrong. It really was upsetting to me. I have had times were it did a number to my mental health. That is not something I want my children to have to deal with.
Whether I spank my child, take away the electronics, ground them, they need to know they are loved. It is super important. I want to raise amazing children who become great adults. So showing them that the behavior is wrong, but that they are still loved by me as their mother does better for them. It also makes me as their mother feel better afterward.