“You shouldn’t talk about your mental illness.” Wow! When did I get the plague? Mental illness is a disease. It’s more like a chemical imbalance of the mind. However, most people what to view it as the dirty little secret. We don’t want to admit something is wrong with us because others will call us crazy. By the way, I hate being told I am crazy. After a while, you start to believe that its true. So why do I have to keep silent about my mental illness?
No one is going to tell a person with diabetes to not talk about it. You have to know they have an issue so if something happens you can help. If someone has an allergy you want to know. An example would be my best friend is highly allergic to bananas, like don’t touch one that day and then hug her.
We feel sympathetic towards people with chronic illnesses. However, people think someone with a mental illness can snap out of it. The family will ask you to not talk about it.
I am a manic bipolar. No one took time to figure this out for me until I did as an adult. It made a whole lot of sense to me when I put all the piece together. It showed me why my moods were all over the place.
*Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I am just an average person dealing with mental illness. Do not do anything unless you talk with your healthcare provider first*
As a child, I had ADD, as an adult its still there. I don’t think many people wanted to talk about me having ADD. I was not given the chance to be productive at school without proper help. It was like no one wanted to take it seriously. I was given Ritalin and that was supposed to “solve” the problem. It actually made life worse.
I love my life. I have taken the time to understand me. I don’t have a problem telling my friend that I am a Manic Bipolar. I always state the manic part so they understand why my energy is so high. I’m like Tigger from Winnie The Pooh. It’s a great thing when I am in control of myself. It’s bad when I have lost control. I have to be aware of my impulse control and so do my friends. A lot of them have learned to tell me no when I need it.
I don’t think its wrong to talk about my mental illnesses. Most people want to be able to relate to you. I am an author of contemporary romance novels. I have written two so far. People who follow me on Facebook know I will talk about my issues.
My anxiety and panic attacks are something I talk about as well. I understand I am not alone with this. I have spoken about how it makes me feel. How I worry so much. I explain how I don’t want to be a worrier I want to be a warrior. I want to overcome my issues.
Another thing I won’t hide is the fact that I have caused harm to body. I scratch at my skin. I have hit my wrists against walls. It’s not my finest moment and I have covered scars with tattoos.
I got this tattoo in December of 2017. The word hope well kind of speaks for itself which is to always have hope. The arrow is to represent that you get pulled back before going forward. The semicolon is the fact that I had the option to stop my story, but I chose to keep going forward. The infinite is always and forever. This is my life and this is my story.
I will refuse to give up. I will refuse to believe that I am crazy. I will tell my story. I don’t want to keep my mouth shut. I don’t want people to see me smile and not understand the pain that I hide.
I am human just like anyone else. My brain and body work differently. They fight me. It’s not my fault. I can’t just snap out of it. I chose to not be silent and embrace my weaknesses. I want to learn from them and hope someone can learn from me.
I am a woman. I am a mother. I have a mental illness. I have struggles. I am just like you and I will not believe that the problem is me. I will take accountability for my actions when things happen. I am not perfect I am me.