What is the cost of a stay at home mom? I know many people think I live an easy life. That I have a spouse who makes a ton of money. The reality is I live my life just like the average person. I budget, love frugal, being thrifty, and am very busy.
Before I became a stay at home mom I worked in a daycare. The facility I worked at was in a Military base and I was a Military wife. I wanted to work and make extra money for my family.
Even when I was working 40hours a week it wasn’t much. We had a car payment to make each month, insurance on the car, the cost of my daughter being in daycare ran up to 250 a week. The more money we made as a family the more I was paying to the daycare. That’s how their system worked.
At one point I was allowed to wear whatever I wanted to work. As long as it was decent and I wasn’t wearing short shorts. Then they changed the dress code so I was no longer able to wear a lot of the shirts I owned since they all had someone cute on them.
I never understood why my cute shirts weren’t okay. It’s not like they said something horrible. I still own a lot of cute shirts (hush, my closet is full of them $5 shirts at Walmart). So I had to invest in some new shirts that were okay at work.
Plus even with working, I was expecting to still manage to keep the house sparkly clean (okay soon I will write a post on how I lived with organized chaos, trust me when I say finding the woman who calls herself the FlyLady is my blessing you will totally understand). It’s not easy working 40hours a week and then having to come home to keep the house clean.
I wish I could say that I was working 9-5. However, my hours at the time typically consisted of 12 pm to 5:30/6 pm. Some days I was working some additional hours to give me the full 40 my schedule included giving breaks from 8 am to 10 pm. So the time I had to do anything was hit and miss.
I had to each my lunch with the in-between time. When I go home it was time to make dinner and then bedtime for my daughter and myself. So there was not a lot of time for me to manage my house.
Granted I know some working mom’s who can do it all. Bless you, if you are one of them. As a stay at home mom, I have the time to manage my house, take care of my kids and spend time with them, on top of working on my blog. I was also able to write a few books a couple of years ago. Now I do need to add those books back to my schedule so I am able to the series done (I write contemporary romance not porn let’s get that out of the way and another idea for a new post).
Being a stay at home mom I have learned to coupon (i was an extreme couponer at one point if you wish to learn, please message me). I was able to homeschool my children for a few years. Both of my children are exceptionally smart. Just because my son has ADHD and I personally chose to medicate him does not mean I made the choice to alter him, he needed to show he was smart. I have been able to work on my now exceptional cleaning skills (yeah okay I could use to work a little harder at it, but I am not detail oriented).
The best part about making the choice to stay at home with my children isn’t because of the loss of extra money. It’s all about the priceless value I get out of spending time with my children. That’s the best thing money can’t by.
My children know Mommy takes them to school and Mommy picks them up. They know if they have an event at the school for awards or plays that I will be there. I have even had to pull my son out 30 minutes early so get can attend my daughters function with me. They know I will be there if they are sick, to take them to the doctor. They know I will be there at home to make them dinner.
I had many time where I worried about my own mother because it was late and she wasn’t home. When I learned to cook I did make little things for dinner. I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for my mother to come home and be too tired to cook.
The cost of me being a stay at home mom is the value I get out of being a mother. Yes, I don’t make an income, yes I don’t get paid vacations or sick leave. I get to spend time with my children. Some days it’s a struggle financially, some days o was to put my kids up for adoption because they drive me nuts. I wouldn’t change it for the world.